We walked on to the Cemetery, which is close to our house and I had a good scamper between the graves. Mistress is always peering at the marble slabs and composing the sort of eulogy that she would like to read in remembrance of herself.

Having just bent down to look at some lines dedicated to the short life of Florence Madden, disaster struck. My right leg went through a patch of ice and for a few moments, I was paralysed .

“Oh my God!” shouted Mistress. “Hello! Is anybody there?”

A hard pelting rain had begun to fall. I was turning into an ice pack.

“Hello,” Mistress called again. She was now on her hands and knees for the second time this afternoon and trying to poke the ice around my leg. There was a snap. Her left arm went straight into the water beneath.

“Yikes!” she cried.

Well there wasn’t anybody there. After a long tussle, Mistress managed to retrieve me and I had to go into my pirouette routine to feel the blood flowing. It was a very close shave, I can tell you.

“Stop it, you foul dog!” Mistress yelled. “You’re making me even wetter.”

I was.

We made our miserable way out of the Cemetery and across the road. The rain was giving me pins and needles. I sniffed my way down the parade of shops as I usually do, but my heart wasn’t in it.

When we got to the front door, with both of us in the most pathetic state, there was a tall man standing in the porch, about to ring the bill. He wore a full length black coat and long black boots. I thought he smelt of musty interiors and light industry. The computer kind.

“Miss Taylor?” the man enquired.

“Yes,” said Mistress.

She pointed to her dripping clothes and at me, her dripping dog.

“Sorry about this, but we had a bit of trouble in the Cemetery and …”

She stopped.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

The man wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. He took a card from his top pocket.

My name is Mr Grieg.” he said. “Are you Julia Taylor?”

“Yes,” said Mistress.

The man had very large hands.

“Miss Taylor” he said, “I am here to talk to you about some inappropriate computer files that you are known to have been using.”