I didn’t have time to ponder my future. There were more sounds coming from the thicket of trees as a woman in jodhpurs came running towards us. I noticed that she had a purple mouth and that it was squawking.

“Hey!” Mistress cried, dropping her mobile into her coat pocket.

The bassets’ owner was a real lady. She wore long riding boots and a cropped jacket.

“I’m so sorry,” she said to Mistress and her purple mouth gaped open wide.
“My boys are usually so well behaved … now come along, you two …”
“Danny, here,” she coaxed. “Mitch!”

But the boys were not listening. My instincts told me they were only interested in serious combat. The bassets barged at me a second time. I looked up and saw the trees with their big beckoning arms. The world was coming closer.

Then came a loud bark and a sudden explosion of air. A long-nosed beast leapt into our midst.

“Will yer take yer filthy paws off the wee dog, you bastads! I’ll no be having fights in the forest with the likes of you.”

I could barely understand the dog’s words, but he was big enough and fierce enough to mean business. And apparently he was on my side.

“Oh my God!” yelled the woman in jodhpurs. “He’ll kill my boys!”

The dog had landed and was whipping his tail in a frenzy as he went round and round in circles. I lay flat. It was the best place to be. The bassets drew back, cowering into the bark of a fallen tree.

This chap was some kind of alsation. He had a chest I might have been proud of. “My master’s on remand,” he said to the bassets, “and he’ll have the tae of you for breakfast if you don’t stop right now!”

Danny and Mitch sat bolt upright like a pair of stone statues.

“I think they’re just having a scrap,” Mistress said hopefully.

There was a pause. I moved slowly towards the dog with the long nose.

“I’m very grateful for your help,” I yelped. “A lot of animals seem to think I have the qualities of a chocolate bar and it’s not funny.”

The dog licked his lips.

“Well, I can see what they mean,” he replied. “But I’m here to protect the weak, son.”

I put a paw on his rump. What else was a pug supposed to do?

He stood to his full height and gave the bassets a withering stare.

“Yer clear off, you two pieces of shite, do you hear me?!”

The dogs slunk away. I noticed that the light was fading.

The alsation crumpled and lay down beside me. He gave me a lop-sided grin and pressed his left ear against mine.

“Call me ‘Hen’ darlin’. And that’s for starters.”