What was coming next, I wondered?

“We own a pair of lovely pugs between us,” Lesley said thoughtfully. “Why don’t we try some aptitude tests? May be we could show the dogs somewhere …”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lesley,” Julia replied. “These two boys are only good for following their noses.”

Archie gave one of his snorts. “If I didn’t have the nasal skills I was born with, there’d be no food at all in my house,” he growled at me.

I put a paw across Archie’s back.

“Well that’s where Marek comes in,” I said quickly.

“Now, don’t start on the breakfast menus, son. My blood pressure is already rising with these comediennes.”

Lesley stood up. She was wearing a purple track suit and a bandana round her head. For reasons I couldn’t understand, Lesley swung from one hip to the other as if she heard music that nobody else could.

“What with your financial problems, Julia, and my dead weight of a husband, we’re in a bad way,” she announced, dropping into an armchair and folding her left leg across her right knee. “I tell you, Julia. Nathan’s a lost cause. He’s begun wearing pyjamas with stars and stripes on them. It’s not a good omen.”

“Really!” said Mistress. “Marek doesn’t wear any at all.”

Lesley’s half smile seemed to stick to her teeth. “What about a gin and tonic, Julia?” she asked, looking at her watch. “It’s 11am.”

“A brilliant idea,” Mistress said. “I think a drink is the answer.”

Archie’s head flopped over mine.

“Let’s dozy do until the crisps start flying,” he whispered.